HOW TO… FIND THE COURAGE TO BE OURSELVES
A guide to flying higher
By Hilary Lee and other much wiser souls
It takes courage to be who we really are, our truest selves, especially in the face of an avalanche of societal, cultural and parental conventions, expectations, judgements and opinions on what constitutes ‘normal’. Peeling off the old conditioning and layers to see who is really underneath can be daunting. It doesn’t happen overnight but, if along the way, across the raging white rivers, paddling in the gently flowing streams and staring into the silent ponds. we can learn to find peace and stillness in who we are, this will be the only reward we really need.
1. Assume that conventional beliefs need a refresh
“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society” Jiddu Krishnamurti
Some of our conventions are absurdly outdated and no longer serve the interests of building a better world. We don’t have to buy in to conformity if it is counter to the healthy thriving of all society, not just the favoured few.
2. Love our idiosyncrasies - our differences are often the best bits of who we are
“We are not here to fit in, be well balanced, or provide exempla for others. We are here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange, perhaps merely to add our small piece, our little clunky, chunky selves, to the great mosaic of being. As the gods intended, we are here to become more and more ourselves” James Hollis, writer
Sometimes we try to fit in so we don’t stand out or feel different. But the irony is the weirdy bits are our best bits and are the signals that attract others of your frequency to you. Maybe we are not all meant to be to everyone’s taste. I happen to like myself well enough, but not everyone feels the same. Do I mind? Nope. It helps keep my energy space clear of vampires.
3. Embrace a mindset of growth and change
“ To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself” Søren Kierkegaard
All growth requires some kind of change. But change can be unwelcome, especially when it doesn't immediately look like it’s in our favour, or goes against what we expected or wanted. If you think about it, everything natural in our world is constantly moving, shifting, renewing. Life itself is one big constant cycle of growth and change.
This goes for humans too. We are part of, not separate from the very same flow of life. Trying to stay the same takes much more effort than moving along with, not against the flow, is frustrating, and leads to stagnation. Accepting the duality of life - its pain as well as its beauty is an essential part of growth.
4. Expect to feel fear, and listen to what it is telling you.
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life - and I have never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do ” Georgia O'Keeffe
Fear stems from our rigidity. When we are in unfamiliar, uncertain territory, anticipating failure or telling ourselves that we are not good enough, we are feeling fear. Fear holds us back from progress, putting our body out of balance and contributing to the dysregulation of our nervous system. A dysregulated nervous system impacts mind, body and spirit - keeping us in unhelpful loops, forever craving predictability…perhaps for the rest of our lives.
“Fear is the mindkiller”
Be aware when it happens, name it, bring it into the light and do it anyway.
5. Make choices based on intuition - and be accountable for where they lead you
“ The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have
created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift” Albert Einstein.
Intuition is the human superpower to instinctively know what information is not relevant so we can follow the glowing breadcrumbs towards decision making aligned with our true path. Our hunches are there to be followed, and these will continue to expand after more acknowledgement and awareness. There’s no good or bad, there’s just experience. Trust that your intuition knows how to make decisions. Check in regularly with your body whether you are listening to your intuition or succumbing to your fear. It doesn’t lie.
6. Embrace the mystery of the unknown
“To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in your hand and eternity in an hour” William Blake
In a left-brained, mechanistic world hell bent on having data and an explanation for everything, we have lost the art of looking beyond the everyday. The beauty of a meandering mind, a wandering, go-nowhere-in -particular notion that leads us off into a daydream world, imagining and conjuring up possibilities. So what if we don’t have a definitive answer yet! Where do you think all the amazing inventions of the past centuries came from? Not just your left brain. Opening your whole brain to the possibilities of the universe can bring an incredible amount of unbridled joy and wonder into your life, and help to guide you to your potential.
7. Find some mode of creativity for self discovery and expression
“The world always seems brighter when you’ve just made something that wasn’t there before.” Neil Gaiman
Keep your internal fire alive by discovering and expressing yourself creatively in some way. It’s nonsense when people say they aren’t creative. We are meant to use our whole human selves, our whole brains if we are to feel whole. You can be the smartest person in the room, say ‘I believe in science’ a lot and still let yourself open up to your right hemisphere - your imagination, intuition, your spirit - the domain that brings us the magic of the unknown. In fact using our creativity just expands our minds and helps us make more useful, more whole brain decisions.
8. Connect to all nature to connect with our own nature.
“ Those who contemplate the beauty of the earth find reserves of strength that will endure as long as life lasts.” Carl Sagan.
Connecting with nature is an absolute foundational pillar of supporting change in ourselves. Slowing down and breathing in the natural world around us can miraculously spirit us to a place where we intrinsically know and feel we are all connected to the beauty all around us. T o feel that together we are a stream of vibrations emanating into the void of the cosmos. T o know deep in our bones that we are one. Infinite support.